First off, for those of you who’ve been part of the small community that is AmyLovesYA.com, I hope you’ll continue with me at AJPine.com. If you are new to my blog, I hope you’ll stick around. I’ll still share the books I read here with links to my goodreads reviews or previous blog reviews. But I’m making a transition of sorts, moving from blogging about books I’ve read to blogging about my journey to publication and attempting to use that A word for myself. You know the one–Author.
Wait. Am I allowed to say that? Can I call myself that?
My amazing, wonderful, can’t-write-without-her critique partner/identical hand twin/parabatai says, yes.
Me: But you understand why I feel weird using that word, right?
CP: Um, not after two books, no. Not after you falling asleep writing on your laptop for the last year… Own it, girl!
I did (am still doing) that. I wrote two books. I’m working on number three. I fall asleep at the laptop more nights than I don’t. So, this is me, trying to own it.
I entered a writing contest recently, and whether or not I advance to the next round, one of the greatest things about doing something like this is getting to meet other writers who are on the journey to publishing along with me. The amount of writerly support that I’ve found in the couple of contests I’ve entered, in a conference I went to, in the varied writing communities on blogs and on Twitter, has been astounding. Yet, in a Twitter discussion the other day pertaining to this contest, another entrant referred to himself as a “notorious self-doubter,” and all I could think was, I get it.
With the elation of putting that final period on the final sentence of a first novel comes the joy and terror of revising, sharing, getting feedback, querying, getting rejections, getting requests, writing another book and doing it all again, and the waiting (oh, the waiting). I dare you to say you refresh your email more than I do. Come on. Try me.
But all of this heightened emotion tells me the one thing that really matters–I want this. I love every second of it (even the ones that terrify me) because every bit of praise, every critique, every contest won or lost, every request and rejection, it all points in the same direction–making me a better writer. A better author.
There. I said it.